can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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