is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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