im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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