I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
