sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
