addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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