the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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