you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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