Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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