Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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