yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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