Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
