Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
