Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
