also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
