I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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