so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
