I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I party with great urgency now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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