Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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