She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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