do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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