3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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