When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
