So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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