what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
