Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
