I'm really into asian looking animals
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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