You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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