I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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