Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
