he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
