All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
