Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
