I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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