Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just had sex on a roof
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
