i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
