3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
