U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
