It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In other news, I just burned my penis
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
