Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
