Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
