my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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