what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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