either way he was missing a nipple.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
