my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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