He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
