Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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  (248): I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again. http://tfl.nu/4zrz
  Replies (2) Good night (5310) Bad night (1441)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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  (860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life. http://tfl.nu/14qy
  Replies (49) Good night (710) Bad night (6607)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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  (613): You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese. http://tfl.nu/lvqg
  Replies (9) Good night (4713) Bad night (925)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie

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  (253): she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie http://tfl.nu/dtyw
  Replies (11) Good night (971) Bad night (3317)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...

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  (804): I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working... http://tfl.nu/tuy1
  Replies (18) Good night (6730) Bad night (1004)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.

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  (757): Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny. http://tfl.nu/ezaf
  Replies (10) Good night (3475) Bad night (716)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

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  (313): First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina http://tfl.nu/jm59
  Replies (10) Good night (3371) Bad night (1153)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

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  (571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (578)
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  (925): View more from California

  You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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  (925): You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure. http://tfl.nu/nboc
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (1059)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.

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  (651): I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen. http://tfl.nu/sts0
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (295)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (334)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.

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  (479): Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though. http://tfl.nu/vam2
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (275)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  ...you should fill the cart some more

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  (518): Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it? (1-518): ...you should fill the cart some more http://tfl.nu/ls8l
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (287)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?

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  (214): As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight? http://tfl.nu/olih
  Replies (4) Good night (770) Bad night (281)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

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  (980): I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle. http://tfl.nu/hjcy
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (240)

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