Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..