I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.