Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.

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(925): never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont. http://tfl.nu/mow4

Replies (52) Good night (674) Bad night (4126)
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(361): View more from Texas

I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

(1-361): View more from Texas

Def the best call fo sho

(361): View more from Texas

That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

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(361): I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it. (1-361): Def the best call fo sho (361): That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers. http://tfl.nu/l307

Replies (39) Good night (4863) Bad night (697)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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(816): I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/e1lf

Replies (50) Good night (879) Bad night (6512)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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(503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e

Replies (19) Good night (4442) Bad night (687)
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(650): View more from California

Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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(650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml

Replies (40) Good night (5854) Bad night (1581)
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(240): View more from Maryland

You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.

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(240): You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool. http://tfl.nu/7f4d

Replies (11) Good night (3806) Bad night (900)
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(925): View more from California

don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement

(510): View more from California

big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.

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(925): don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement (510): big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault. http://tfl.nu/lnx0

Replies (11) Good night (6645) Bad night (1248)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(604): Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub. http://tfl.nu/91f9

Replies (20) Good night (5617) Bad night (1166)
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(540): View more from Virginia

hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her

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(540): hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her http://tfl.nu/8ahn

Replies (19) Good night (11210) Bad night (1447)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

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(410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3

Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (1041)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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(410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy

Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (523)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death

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(919): All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death http://tfl.nu/2w0w

Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (455)
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(806): View more from Texas

I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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(806): I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots. http://tfl.nu/ai8j

Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (554)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

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(612): I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow http://tfl.nu/y8rx

Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (497)
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(727): View more from Florida

I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.

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(727): I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER. http://tfl.nu/hytb

Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (174)

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