Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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(214): View more from Texas

herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.

(1-214): View more from Texas

ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...

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(815): View more from Illinois

i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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(843): View more from South Carolina

To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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(734): View more from Michigan

I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet

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(216): View more from Ohio

It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone

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(619): View more from California

I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.

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