Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

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(417): I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon! http://tfl.nu/qgqr

Replies (20) Good night (4769) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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(407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy

Replies (18) Good night (9445) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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(217): I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats http://tfl.nu/84a1

Replies (14) Good night (1807) Bad night (2606) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.

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(330): nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks. http://tfl.nu/s7xn

Replies (5) Good night (2859) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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(740): View more from Ohio

I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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(740): I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore. http://tfl.nu/qwh6

Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (2284) Order T-Shirt
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(434): View more from Virginia

and she just brought her bike into the shower with her

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(434): and she just brought her bike into the shower with her http://tfl.nu/c8oh

Replies (8) Good night (2518) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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(765): View more from Indiana

Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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(765): Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me. http://tfl.nu/xef4

Replies (8) Good night (2086) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?

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(401): he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid? http://tfl.nu/msiw

Replies (8) Good night (1935) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

(1-407): View more from Florida

Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

(407): View more from Florida

Bro? You just made it a target.

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(407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2

Replies (8) Good night (2255) Bad night (847)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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(847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz

Replies (10) Good night (3836) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.

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(585): Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/49qc

Replies (8) Good night (920) Bad night (388)
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(253): View more from Washington

If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.

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(253): If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs. http://tfl.nu/90kb

Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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(202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g

Replies (18) Good night (571) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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(201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk

Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (193)
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(708): View more from Illinois

was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?

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(708): was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time? http://tfl.nu/ea5t

Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (118) Order T-Shirt

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