Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....