I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
