i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
