she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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