he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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