he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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