yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
