she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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