Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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