He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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