Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
