He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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