The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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