TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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