Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
