...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
