When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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