I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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