You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
