Just fell off a train. Bad.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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