i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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